


when and where and who knows

by ThatmakesmeNervous



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 23:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatmakesmeNervous/pseuds/ThatmakesmeNervous
Summary: Abby, Nick, and Leah are there to overhear the talk (read: badass screaming match) between Simon and Martin fucking Addison.Please read notes at the beginning :)





	when and where and who knows

**Author's Note:**

> i can’t remember exactly how it happens in the movie, but this is kind of a combo of the book and movie (it might be a little confusing soz). anyway, i had this idea that abby, nick, and leah were kind of nearby when simon did the whole screaming at martin thing. yall know i live for the angst so, that’s how it's gonna go down. so basically, they’re already pissed at simon (like in the movie) in this fic. also, there’s a sentence there at the beginning where leah is walking with nick and abby so let’s just pretend she stayed after school to practice drums or smth lmao. i’m gonna include most of the dialogue (from the book), so disclaimer that that doesn’t belong to me!! full credit goes to becky albertalli!! 
> 
> ps a lot of the characterization is more of my own than canon sorry that will probably be kind of annoying LMAO

It’s one of those rare day, where soccer practice let out early--the same time as play rehearsal--so Abby, Nick, and Leah all walk out of school together. They could almost pretend it was a normal afternoon. All of them were going to head over to Nick’s in Simon’s new old car, and while Abby and Simon chatted about lines and dance moves, he and Leah would absolutely crush it in Assassin's Creed. 

And maybe, when all of them stepped into the parking lot, they realized that Abby drove today. She took a huge detour to pick both of them up, but Abby said it was worth it. Which, yes, might have been cruel, but she brushed it off because it was justified. Right?

So they started heading toward where Abby was parked, which, coisendetaly, was near where Simon usually parks. They probably would’ve continued forward, no matter the awkwardness of possibly seeing Simon getting into his car alone. 

But the yelling stopped them short. 

They were still quite a few meters away, and Simon’s back was facing them. It briefly crosses Leah’s mind that they were eavesdropping, but this looked serious. 

“God, I’m just. I’m so sorry,” Martin starts. And, yes, it  _ is _ Martin. As pissed off as they are at Simon, it’s kind of reasonable to be even more pissed off at Martin fucking Addison. 

Martin keeps talking, and, suddenly, Simon lets out this cold, hurt, self-deprecating laugh. “What the fuck do you want me to say?” 

It occurs to Abby that she’s never seen really Simon angry. Other than today. God, she’s probably seen Simon angry more times today than she has during the entire time she’s known him. 

Martin says something else, and Simon blows up. 

“...I think you’re an asshole. I think you’re a huge fucking asshole… You blackmailed me. This was--I mean, wasn’t that the whole goddamn point? Humiliating me?”

There’s a pause. Abby feels guilty for yelling at him earlier, but it was justified. He could’ve just  _ talked  _ to them, right? She knows that Nick and Leah probably feel guilty, too, from the looks on their faces. But  _ they _ aren’t in the wrong here!

“And you know what?” Simon continues, “You don’t get to say this isn’t a big thing. This is a big fucking thing, okay? This was supposed to be-- this is mine. I’m supposed to decide when and where and who knows and how I want to say it.” 

Another pause.  _ God,  _ they think together,  _ I might be sick.  _

Simon says more, but his voice is low, like he’s trying not to cry or be even more aggressive. But Martin’s crying, and he’s not even trying to hide it. Then they both step around each other, and Simon gets into his car. 

Then he’s beating on the steering wheel, and the horn is going off sporadically. The three flinch in time together. As anger, hurt, and sorrow begin piling up, the noise stops. Simon is sobbing wild, thick, uncontrollable, noisy tears, sitting absolutely defeated. In his car. Alone. Abby wants to do something, but her feet seem to be stuck to the ground. But then Leah is moving, and so is Nick, so Abby guesses that no one has to be right or wrong when they’re all hurting. 

They reach Simon’s car at about the same time, Abby running to catch up. The slamming of car doors and shuffling of legs is almost nothing in comparison to Simon’s deafening sobs. It’s almost like it didn’t even register with him that he wasn’t alone anymore. 

Leah wraps her arms around him softly. She just holds him, and he lets her. Then he shifts, and Simon is gripping her so tightly, it’s like he’s afraid he’ll disappear if he doesn’t have something grounding him. 

Or maybe he’s afraid she will disappear. Again. 

She’s shushing him like he’s a child who skinned his knee and not an 17 year old who’s biggest secret has suddenly been revealed to everyone in their small universe. 

It takes a while--more shushing from Leah and more tears from all of them--but Simon’s sobs eventually settle into semi-frequent hiccups. 

“Simon?” His head is buried in Leah’s shoulder, so all that can really be seen of him is his messy head of hair. He groans softly in response to Nick’s prompting. 

“You gotta talk to us, dude.” 

Hiccup. 

“We want to fix this, Simon. Really. I mean, I can’t speak for Abby or Leah, but you’ve been my best friend for-- for forever. We’ve gone through so much shit, dude. We can get through this, too.” 

Hiccup. 

Now that Abby thinks about it, she’s never seen Simon cry like this. From how terrified Leah looks and how Nick’s voice shakes, she can tell that they haven’t either. And they’ve known each other--well, for forever. 

A beat of silence. A sigh. 

“I wish things had just stayed the same.” 

Oh, and if that doesn’t break they’re hearts. 

“Simon. Simon look at me.” Leah pulls his head up from her shoulder and cups his cheeks in both of her hands. It kind of looks like how a mom might comfort her child. Simon’s eyes are red and sad--he looks so, so hurt. They’re all so, so  _ hurt.  _

“Listen to me. No, no. Look at me and listen to me, too.” Simon looks her in the eyes, and he looks  _ guilty, guilty, guilty.  _ She’s still holding his face, and her eyes are just as soft and sad as his when she says, “This is shitty, I admit. And it could've gone a lot better. I wish you hadn’t gotten blackmailed; I wish we could forget all of this had ever happened. But--Simon, keep looking at me, please--now… now you get to be you. You get to be out, and you get to be yourself. You can stop being so afraid! Yes, I wish things were different, but things would have never stayed the same.” 

She’s still holding his face; Abby and Nick are holding their breaths intently. Simon cracks a small, pitiful smile. 

“You sound like my mom.” 

Leah lets out a watery laugh. 

So maybe things can never go back to the way they were. But, after they fix everything,  _ together _ , it has potential to be so much better. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey thanks for reading!!!!! i hope you enjoyed it and please comment any problems you had with this fic. full discloser, i probably wasn't in the best headspace when i wrote this AND it was like 3 am. anyway, maybe go check out my BRAND NEW tumblr! it probably won't be too active unless yall submit some ideas, or i have you vote on what i should write. the @ is mostlywritinangst.tumblr.com (also i've never really had an active tumblr, so maybe anyone who goes to check it out can help me lol) thanks again!


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